A Noisy Singaporean

Today we MR..!

Its funny that when the day comes you did not expect to be sad but to be celebrating. Who would want to chiong up a hill, dig trenches and eat army food? Not to even say take communal showers and trying to sleep in the midst of the loud snorings? Alas, its true, I do feel a sort of emptyness this morming as I contemplate going for my MR parade and meeting my 648 buddies for perhaps the very last time.

A couple of reasons could explain why i feel sad.

1) My annual ICT has always been a life saver to me as it always comes in late August, September and October. It saves me from the manic pace of school life at the time when I feel that I could no longer take on the punishing routine of work. It also rescued me from the many tiring burdens of parenting. Army life is blissful, tranquil and is an  exercise in deep resting for the mind and soul.  I gave no orders but carried out  some that I relished and easily executed. Army workdays are simple with all the activities planned at intervals and meals that I feel were well cooked. You can get through an army day without any change in your pockets. Seldom was I sick or down even in the face of the worse trainings. I have looked forward to all the activities, uptime and downtime with a sense of anticipation and at the point of execution, I dare say that I could leave the world behind me and fully engage myself into what needs to be done. This is a rarity on normal days.

2)My buds
Let me explain, army buddies are buddies for life. They take care of you in and out field. I have met the most amazing group of guys whom I bore witness as they take critical leaps in their personal lifelines into marriage and being parents. I saw the faces of their wives and their children as they grew up from boys to men. The conversations that we had, and... there were too many to recount. Conversations in a trench, in the bunk, in the rifle range, in the medical centre, in the training shed, in the armskote room, in the store and in the toilets.. just too many.

Reyaz, Bandi, Aziz, Juman, Eduar, Khai, Bandi, Nurazmin, Ghazali, Kelly, Nigel, LTA Chan, MO, Jimmy, Hafez, Syamsul, Shahrin, Joshua Chiang, Yeah, Chua, Barnabas, late Daniel Chan aka Sniper, Quek and others. Through their friendship and company they made me feel at home and belonged.

2) Being thankful,
In an ironic way, army life makes me feel thankful of what i  have, possessions I own and Faiz and my kids. Through the words of my buds I get a glimpse of the world that they live in and for this I realise how fortunate I am. Army life is a reality checker of sorts. It brings you up and crashes you down in the face of reality and forces you to probe deeper into your soul for who you are and what is worth pursuing. These are things that can be easily forgotten as we trudge the days and weeks in our porfessional lives

I will miss everyone for all the memories and experience. My life has been richer because of this. Thanks guys!

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This morning at subh. I

This morning at subh. I read the following

[3:110] Ye are the best of peoples, evolved for mankind, enjoining what is right, forbidding what is wrong, and believing in Allah. If only the People of the Book had faith, it were best for them: among them are some who have faith, but most of them are perverted transgressors.

The first line is a praise from our Lord to those who follow the way and the message of our holy prophet. Gives me a boost for whatever good work I may be part off this day. Amin

Rayn at his kindergarten

Faiz and me picked him up at little bees. He us finishing lunch (on his own ) before we pick him up. Little Bees is in Tampines... A distance away from our home

Sent from my iPhone

Read this morning after subh,

Read this morning after subh, clear reminder for faith to be a lifelong search.

Surah Ali Imron [3:90] But those who reject Faith after they accepted it, and then go on adding to their defiance of Faith,- never will their repentance be accepted; for they are those who have (of set purpose) gone astray.

Day 13 - Breakfast conversations and UA908 Denver to Chicago and then to Vermont

Its interesting the conversations that I heard among Americans.  Today we had Neil, who is also with B&E Bed and Breakfast who I believe is an entrepreneur. He feels that what America needs today are people who would stop working for Starbucks and who would get out and start small firms, startup using their creativity and talents to market their own products. A cottage industry he believes would be the engine of American economic recovery. Government he believes is bad cos they involved America in wars unnecessarily. Iraq and Afghanistan are bad mistakes.

I disagree I told him cos only America has the will power and ability to project itself on parts of the world that the locals could not. It was because of the American involvement in Vietnam that South East Asia remains free from communist influence. It was because of the decision of going into Afghanistan that Al Qaeda was denied of training areas and safe havens. Thanks to the US this meant that Singapore and parts of  South East Asia can sleep safely at night knowing that they have fewer terrorist to deal with. Yes, Sir I do understand that Americans are paying a huge economic cost and the loss of lives (both Americans and Afghanis) are regrettable. but hey we in Singapore are chipping in too. We provide combat support and logistics, right now in Afghanistan and our commitment and footprint in Afghanistan has increased steadily.

He also feels that the world could not afford the American lifestyle. The entire world could not afford a house with a garage, a yacht, TVs and all the consumer goods. Its too polluting and too much garbage is being produce for consumer goods that have a short life. He felt that people in other parts of the world should be allowed to live a nomadic lifestyle, eat less, not be educated so they would not need much consumer goods, etc. I was like wow. (America can progress but the world lags behind..so that America can change. Why not America do more with less?)

Anyway over French toast, muffins and maple syrup, he pointed out to the mistakes of the Reagan years and also through the conversation, I gathered that he feels that the government is simply so inefficient and expensive in its cost of operations. But interestingly he does not advocate private enterprise as a solution cos to him big businesses is exploitative. His solution? Military run operations like how the military runs hospitals that are low cost and efficient.

But.... sir, the demand for military hospital services would be different from civilians right? cos a) you would not need a large OB GYN outfit and b) geriatrics care and other kinds of civilian medical  conditions would not be as prevalent. You'd have to spend much more on these medical services. But for the military, being fitter, they would not need much medical attention on lifestyle diseases.? I reserved my point on that one. I kept silent.

Anyway it is interesting listening to Americans on what the exact role of their government should be? State of awareness of the Islamic world? Vision for a sustainable future.? Education? How the world views America? Role of private enterprises? The tea party movement. Is President Obama a Muslim? I am looking for answers on these.. or would I say, I am keen to listen out their views on this.

Anyway I blog when I can, and  right now I am waiting for my flight  to Chicago O’Hare enroute to Vermont, Burlington. I was told it would be cold. Me already excited!

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Day 6 - The Start

It was freezing and it was a real challenge trying to shower. Thanks really to the hot water and super fast flow rate. I managed. Also subh was at 5:26am.

It was cold and I was lonely.

That was to change when I Skyped Mak. As usual her face lit up on the screen and thanks to Skype and US technology I had a face to face conversation with her for about 28 minutes. Imagine the cost if it was IDD? Alhamdulillah.

Anyway as I blogged now, my mood had changed from loneliness to one of cheefulness as Mak told me;

1. That Raudhah is truly a caring and concerned girl
2. How she and father brought Rayn to the wet market and how Rayn is conversant in Malay
3. How much Rayn loves her cooking and how well he got along with father.
4. How Fir still hugs her, at all places in school and at home without feeling ashamed.
5. How Eidul Adha was in Singapore
6. Her plans for vacation with father.

All in all, distance was bridged, though it was 8:30 pm on Wednesday it is 5.45 am on Tuesday. My heart felt at home. I love my childrenand Faiz  and I miss them all lots.

I also learnt this morning that I hadn't fail in becoming a good parens, for thru my mom I learnt that  my kids truly respect and more implortantly love their grandparents. Syukur alhamdlillah for that.

Me going off to school nowl. Must get ready bus fare change... brave the cold and ...  get to school by 7:30am.

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Day 5 - A School away from mine

    Today I woke up at 3:45am and it was really cold. Come to think of it, I woke at at 1.30 am. Not sure why? but I guess I still am having jetlag. Its been 5 days, and for some strange reasons come 2-3pm I feel really sleepy, that’s like 4 am SIN time. Showering was not so bad as the warm water comes out easily and the pressure was good.

    I did Subh and was able to dzikr and read Al- Mulk and Ar-Rohmaan. Later, I skyped and Faiz showed me the latest 3D drawings of our renovation plans - the wet kitchen, dining room, study and plans for Eidl Adha. Mum and Dad is ok and is in their usual mood. It was a pleasant and cheap way to touch base with people at home from a distance. (Come to think of it, tomorrow may be the first Eidl Adha when I am not home, Faiz is manning the fort for me at home).

Its time for school.

    The night before I Googled and found out that  George Washington High School is about 1.6miles away. I can walk or I can take public transport. Walking in such a cold weather does not seem appealing, so I decided to take a public transport. The bus 83L departs at 6.45 am from the station at Leetsdale and the school is 4 bus stops away. I drew the map in my Moleskin diary the night before, taking care to jot down the names of streets and the stops. So I had an idea of how to get to the school. However before I get to the bus stop, I had to walk about 400m.And boy, oh boy at 6.35 am it was freezing. The wind and freeze penetrated through my coat and thanks for the long sleeved shirt and 2 socks that I was wearing, my body warmed up after walking for 50 m.

    When I reached the bus stop I asked 2 girls,(they look young and both was wearing an earphone) if George Washington was down the road. One replied yes and for my next question on the fare, she said it costs 2 dollars. Ouch! Despite my planning I had forgotten about small change. The smallest that I have was $5.
    
    Anyway the bus was on time but the 10 minutes waiting time was a real killer. Four bus stops down Leetsdale Road and like in Singapore, you know its time to alight when you see many school boys and girls standing and moving to the exits.

    I reached the school at 7:20am and school starts at 7:30am

    While walking towards the school's main entrance, I could see flecks of white cotton falling gently and lightly to the ground. A piece landed on my face. It was snowing. Yipee!

   The cold morning transformed into a beautiful sight  as green trees started to be swirled by cotton snow and in green and white, the fauna painted God's work and reminds us of his gift of beauty to mankind.

    Like all school in Singapore, you can sense a good school once you are in the lobby. Two things stood out. Students safety and secondly school culture.
    
    I can see that the students are a happy bunch. Giving high fives, embracing one another, talking loudly, smiling faces and eager to be in school, with one difference, instead of school uniforms, they wore their home clothes. And there was the glass showcases at the lobby in front of the general office  showing the victories in sports and academics and other school's accomplishments. (I will post some pics on this soon).
    
    Secondly, there were two staff members who were patrolling the lobby and one reminded me to get a visitor pass. Unlike the high schools in Brooklyn, New York, GWHS does not have police conducting checks and using metal detectors on students belongings.

 

     With the help of Mrs Dolan, I got my visitors' pass and minutes later Josh a student of Mr Marcus Lee (the head of Social Studies) came to guide me to his class. My first impression of Mr Lee was a favourable one. He was warm, inviting, not the follow by the rules type but go by the ear sort of fella, kind of like myself. I also guessed correctly that both of us were of the same age.

     
    As he was going to have students in his economic class and about thirty students were present, he improvised. We did a talk show. I became the guest from Singapore and he asked questions on Singapore and economics. I tried my best to provide answers and we did the same routine for the next 3 classes, with different questions. I tried to be entertaining giving humour and evidence to back up my points of view. It was a chance for Mr Lee and his students to get to know me and Singapore further.Among the many memorable classic questions were

• Where is Singapore?

• Population size and the different racial makeup in Singapore

• Where in the spectrum of market type are we? Command or free market?

• How come we do not possess any natural resources yet we are economically successful?

• My background, being Indian Muslim, family, national service and Anderson Secondary

• The issue of sustainable development and my views on it.

• The Sing dollars versus the US Dollars.

• Why do we regard the British imperialists favourably in Singapore? How could we? Aren’t imperialists evil?

    Mr Lee did a great job, in teasing the economic learning points from my answers and explaining it to his students in terms that they would understand. He also connects the points to what they have and is going to learnt in his economic classes.  I was glad to hear laughter from the students, especially when questions on the unbelievable fact that we banned chewing gum was being asked. Again as a defender of authoritarian Singapore, I clarified that we will not arrest anyone of chewing gum but instead it’s an offense to sell gum in Singapore. It was hilarious and I guessed unbelievable at this point to some of the students the way Singapore approached the issue of gum chewing.

 

     What struck me was the seating positions of the students. There were 15 seats placed facing directly in front of another fifteen seats, which means students sat in a position where they were able to look at each other and the black board (yes they used chalk and duster) was either on their right or left. Secondly what caught my eye was the VGA projector. It was not ceiling mounted but  instead it was on a trolley in the top rung and below it was Yes! an Overhead Projector. They do not have a white screen but instead improvised and made do with a white butcher paper taped at the black board.

 

    I attended an AP US History class by Ms Lamitie. She was trying to teach the idea of the Westward movement and it was in my opinion content intensive. She did a good job as her classroom management skills were there given a challenging topic and a few uncooperative students. She farmed the lessons well, breaking it into a 20 minutes lecture and 20 minutes small group work to consolidate learning. At critical points, she asked students what they have learnt. For example 3 conditions that the Mexican government did in an attempt to populate Mexico and the issue of the Louisiana Purchase – why and what and who wre involved, etc. There was an attempt to connect what they have learnt to their present, example San Francisco 49ers to the start of the gold rush in San Francisco. Also connecting Nov to the election victory of the US President to the month when President Obama got elected. Those were pretty good strategies.

 

     On the other hand the students were a tough lot. But I must stress that it is not all who were tough. Many were busy doing their work. It is only a handful who were busy chatting, walking across the class and in their own world. Ms Lamitie did a good job in delivering and getting students to consolidate their content. She was patient and on task though I could see that among the students who did not pay attention, many were trying and Ms Lamitie is just patient enough to weather the class through.

 

     I attended a history lesson on the social impacts of industrialisation by Ms Sherie, who taught social effects by making students (10 in her class) write a descriptive essay on how they would feel if they were in the shoes of the people whom they were studying. There was a tense moment in class between two boys, and I gave some pointers to two group of students on how they could proceed with their tasks. I believed that the teacher was trying to get students to work and during curriculum time was trying to get them to do homework, which other wise would not get done.

 

     Mr Leets, a one year old teacher conducted a lesson on WWI and this two had tough students of varying ability. Some were still plugged into their MP3 players and one was sleeping on a couch next to me. He did well I must say, using a short video, talking about what the students know, what they don’t etc. The crux was why did the US not participate in WW1 when it began? And why it participated later. Group work followed and students are asked to write down the meanings of WW1 related historical concepts by looking at the textbooks and later, ‘Yes!’ to draw out the concepts. One bright person, whom I though was not ‘in’ the lesson proved me wrong, when he gave a good explanation to Central Powers and drew a clenched fist depicting it. Mr Leets read the students work and affirmed them. He handled the class well, despite his youth and this also was a strong point when at times he joked on the music selection choices of some students.  I thanked him for allowing me to be present in his class and shared a few ideas on how technology shaped WW1. We both agreed that there were more interesting stuff, but I guessed he needed to scope his lesson and had to follow the guidelines as laid down by the school district. There was a concern in not covering what was officially prescribed.

 

     Mr Lee was kind enough  to send me home  and along the way we talked about professional development of teachers and teacher’s belief. He lamented on the US system on doing things in the name of political correctness instead of what was required. I could sense that he liked the fact that we could stream students. What got me really excited was when he said that he wanted me to share with the entire staff on Thursday on the difference between the Singapore and US system and how was it that teachers in Singapore could yield higher performance from their students than the US. I shared briefly with him on the role of culture and teacher’s belief and what I heard from Kareem Abdul Jabbar the other day. We was sold. So here I go.. thinking about what to present on this Thursday without embarrassing myself and did I say that tomorrow is Aidil Adha?

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Day 4 - A meeting with a legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar

Kareem Abdul Jaabar is a Muslim. I know that. Muslims know that Kareem and Jaabar are virtues and even names of Allah. They mean the servant of the exalted one. Awesome. In person he is 7 foot 2. The introduction that they did send Goosebumps in me. I was not keen to attend this talk but somehow, when I see the teachers walking briskly for the final keynote address, I followed and I was not disappointed.

            Kareems's message was simple. He wants Americans to know that the greatest basketball team in the world is the Harlem Rens (Harlem Renaissance) and the Harlem Globetrotters. These two teams faced tremendous difficulties demonstrating their abilities in the era where sports were segregated. However for their love of the game, these two teams persevered and made their way as becoming first class citizens and putting African American basketball players in mainstream America. Their innovation, style of play and the coach they had all contributed to their success. So keen were they to get acceptance that the Harlem Globetrotters combined comedy into their play, so that they would gain white acceptance as comedians first and sportsman later. They did have their chance and they took it and made a mark for themselves and got respect for the African American community in the process, and made basketball as one of the possible avenue for success for poor African Americans. Apparently he researched their history and had published a book on it. The story of the Harlem Rens and the Globetrotters has been made into a movie and will be screened in the first quarter of 2011. Despite selling this narrative and getting the audience enthused about the upcoming movie, he has a serious message to his audience

            His first concern was that too many African American kids have a belief that success can be achieved with a short cut. Every kid wants to become a rap artist and have Jay Zee as his or her manager. He wants Social Studies teachers to spread the message especially among inner city kids in Harlem and Bronx that there are many paths to success. There is no need to become a sportsmen or entertainer. He mentioned he had visited Jamie Escalante’s school and was stupefied when a student asked him ‘you write this book?’ (Implying that a student is amazed that an African American NBS basketball star actually wrote and published a book on the history of African American Renaissance). He also alluded to Escalante’s efforts in education by it is a powerful reminder that you can be successful in Mathematics. One need not have to be a sports star or entertainer. What the kids need to know is that with patience, integrity and the right amount of help from the teacher they can achive success.

            He feels that America can do more in getting African American students into becoming businessmen, inventors and physicians. He cited the assistant of Alexander Graham Bell who also invented the filament that was used by Edison as a black scientist. This was his second message I guessed, on top of paying homage to the greatest basketball team and putting them in a  position in the Harlem Renaissance, he was hoping for a second renaissance, where African Americans would aspire to become Mathematicians, scientist instead of sportsmen and entertainers. To him having and pursuing knowledge is power. What they can do in school and with a good education is better. He financial rewards is also guaranteed and with t

            There was also a third message and this made turned Kareem from plain vanilla into awesome Oreo Cookie and Cream Haagen Dazs in my eyes. He also wanted these African American kids who have become successful in whatever field they choose, to return to where they came from, buy real estate, improve the houses in the area, invite people to stay in them and improve the community in the process and to make a real difference in the lives of people in their community. No point he says, once you made it, ‘you go out and get yourself a huge diamond medallion and hang it around your neck’.

I thought that was like…wow!. No better way to put the concept of noblese oblige across.

            What followed was a serried of question and answer session that saw many questions being put across to him. After that, he indulged the teachers into a book signing session. Did I say that all teachers get a hardback book by him, 4 CDs and some study aids and a poster?. Yes, and his Skyhook Foundation project is partly supported by UCLA, his alma matter.

            One good question was asked by a teacher who wanted to know what he felt about the fear that Muslim kids have when they go to town in the inner city area. Below is his reply.

Another well answered questions was when we was asked what can be down with the low graduation rates among African American males in colleges but their high rates in prison. His reply “HOME” . Home factors to him are important and the part played by the father is important. He was fortunate to have a father who is a policeman who would threaten to beat him with anything that he can find. And his dad played an important role in instilling the love of Jazz and basketball in him. Being an African from the West Indies, hard work and respect for his grandmother also instilled in him a sense of urgency in wanting to go for training. These to me are cultural factors that gave him the tools and the will to succeed.

Below is his answer to one of the question being posed.

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Being a Daddy Again (Part IV)

Alhamudillah. Thanks to Allah and his grace, today at 11:55 am I found out that Faiz is pregnant with our fourth gem. She visited Dr Thomas this morning and he confirmed it. ETA0f our fourth child is May 2011. Syukran. Amin ya rabbal a-lamin.

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14th July. Bastille Day. On being Ver 38 and What is my Dream?

I started the week reading Surah Al Baqarah from ayat 165 onwards. This morning ayat 171  and 172 stuck to me light a bolt. Interestingly there are parallels about what was to happen later in the day with this ayat. Did I tell you that today 14th July 2010, I turned 38?

(2:171) And so the parable of those who are bent on denying the truth is that of the beast, which, which has the shepherd's  cry and hears in it nothing but the sound of a voice and a call. Deaf are they and dumb and blind, for they do not use their reason.

(2:172) O you who have attained to faith. Partake of the good things which we have provided for you as sustenance, and render thanks unto God, if it is [truly] Him that you worship

Did I say that before subuh, I managed to do my early morning run around NUS? pass biz ad, Arts Fac, towards Engine Bridge, downslope towards Fong Seng and turned into Seven Eleven into the road where I live. Timing was 19 minutes plus (not my best but managed to work some sweat though). Later I did some flexibility exercises after the run with my elastic tension rope. Once over with my standard leg raises and push-ups, I was drenching with sweat. This is the reason why I wake up at 4 am and run. To have sweat oozing but the cool morning wind and silence blowing on me, to feel really hungry and with all my muscles taut and warm blood surging in term. I can feel the endorphines and adrenaline surging  in me. No words to describe the satisfaction of being able to push your own personal limits and boundaries. It simply feels awesome. Makes me feel I can take on any challenge, any problems  head-on. By 4:59am I had showered and sat on my prayer rug reading 2:163-176, with the proper enuciation of the Arabic makhraj and tarnum. (rhythm)

Lines 171-172 were significant to me that day, for "Allah has allowed me to Partake of the good things which he has provided for as sustenance." This is important for it is he who as not only given me sustenance but so much more. I received and is receiving the grace of our Lord everyday, but this morning I made time stand still and reflect of the many blessings that I have received for the past 38 years. The first in of course. I am alive. I had lived past 37. 

I had once read in a Los Angeles based online newspaper report the other day and was struck with one webpage that displays photos of US serviceman and servicewomen who perished in the service of their nation in operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. These servicemen, about 540 plus of them hailed from parts of Los Angeles. What struck to me most are youth and their age. Almost all are below 25. Young and in their prime. Their photos, not accompanied by any text shows an image of a proud soldier doing his or her duty for the defense of their country and paying the ultimate sacrifice for that belief - their life. The testimonials and message left behind by their loved ones were especially poignant. They spoke of not how they died, they spoke not in voices of anger, but they spoke of the many wonderful things the fallen had done that had special meaning to them, not of heroics but of mundane stuff, and also through their words they made it clear what the loss of their husband, son, daughter and friend had meant to them. This resonated deeply in me for if I die, and I will one day. I would want people to  know me truly for the values that I have set for myself, and how I had succeeded in  achieving them and  and also how hard I tried in achieving some goals that I had fallen short of achieving and how they can take the lessons in the many mistakes that I had made, to be better than me. For this to happen I need a certain amount of time to achieve them and blessed with being 38, means I had more time to make a difference in the lives of others. I thank Allah for giving me health, energy, wisdom, people whom I loved, people who love me, spiritual awareness of how small I am relative to the vastness of space and time, a desire to improve myself in understanding God's final revelation - the Quran, to be given an opportunity to be a 'Khalifah' (steward) in this journey of life and demonstrate that a true Muslim loves, cherishes and gives back as much as he has been given unto. شكر الحمد لله.

In the same breath, I thanked God Al - Mighty, for making me a Singaporean, and for having tossed me here in this part of the world, instead of Hebron, Gaza, Bukina Faso or even Paris..(no offense to those great cities!) . But I thank my lucky stars that my grandparents eloped from India and set sail here about 150 years ago and this made it posible for me to benefit from the best of what Singapore has to offer. It allows me to firstly have an education that not only rewards achievement but strengthens mind and character in such a way that I dont get lost when I am in Seoul, Massachusetts, or even Jakarta. Malcolm Gladwell, complimented Singaporeans by saying that we are one of the world's best in 'dealing with unpredictability' and looking backwards in my life, I can see why we become such a people. This is the gift of Singapore for SIngaporeans. Being in SIngapore, born to parents who places a premium in education, me and Bi got the best of the madrasah and secular education system. I teach. Bi practices medicine. Only in Singapore and few other places in the world such an event could and had happened. I thanked my lucky stars that morning to have met Faiz, started a family, bought a fine house, have good neighbours and having been allowed to serve in the defence of our nation. Of all my prized possessions, a picture of me in my passing out parade in SAF No.4 deserves special mention.

I am what I am today and specifically that being I ca relate to Singapore from all walks of life because of my National Service experience. I am proud to say that I served in a combat vocation. And for who for having served in an infantry battalion in the SAF, for having 'chiong' ed' up and down Peng Kang, Bajau,E-shaped knoll, Tekong, Botak and  Elephant Hill and knowing the difference between the sound made by a 5.56mm and 7.62mm rifle and having been given the experience close up to see men of action coming together to serve their country gives me a powerful sense of centered-ness. Despite the cacophony of colour and creed only one colour stood out; camouflaged green. And if you look closely, those tiny pixels in my 1991 ITD Pass Out Parade with Foxtrot Company,taken  in Infantry Training Depot, Pulau Tekong a dark skinned short haired skinny soldier with the name PTE Kamaludin Bahadin stands out. That was me, when I was 18. Today I have doubled in age, but never  have felt a year older. If ever, Singapore has given me what it possibly could and this allowed to be to give back to those who matters to me, in ways that I can. A big part of that comes from being able to teach Singapore's future - the young people of this country.

The second point that makes me proud to be a SIngaporean, is that I am a Muslim. Singapore protects our way of life and ensures that our women and daughters can wear their veils with heads held high. Lots of advertisement billboard in the Civil Service of women wearing head-dress, reaffirms  my belief in that we can be both excellent Muslims and patriotic Singaporeans and the two are not in conflict with each other. In fact I can be the best Muslim that I want and not worry about public perception or official biases. Part of this remains that Singapore Muslims though a minority are a shining example as compared to many parts of the world where Muslims are the majority. Ironically in those areas where the government is run by fellow Muslims, they often fall short of meeting the expectations of their citizens of fellow Muslims. Singaporean Muslims are excellent in many aspects and I believe like the generation before us we exemplify the best of our prophet's teachings (pbuh). For we believe strongly in the teaching of Al Sunnah Wal Jammaah, who are tolerant of people of different faiths and who treats their neighbours with dignity and respect even if they share a different religion, who allows their women to be educated and are rationale and progressive in outlook. The sense of Ummah of being a Singapore Muslim has never been stronger. The minarets of our;beautiful mosques piercing the sky and adorning our island as compared to the sad state of mosques that I saw in Paris,and the mood of Islam-ophobia rising in Europe makes me feel blessed to be here. Here I can prepare myself and my family dunia (present world) and akhirah (the next world) to the best of my ability. For this I am really thankful. 

I received three beautiful cards this morning from Dada, Nana and Rayn. Rayn's card was once written by Dada but is still significant. His wobbly, crooked, jerky way of writing alphabets suggests an image in my mind of his sister holding his small hand and writing out the words with him on paper was making me smile. Dada's card was extremely meaningful for she spoke from her heart with deep affection of what my presence had meant to her. Nana's card was an anagram that had computer QWERTY's keypad with some letters shaded, which with the help of Glenn Sim, I managed to decipher what it means. It says I love you from an iPhone keypad. Mother called me and said a prayer to me. When I sent Rayn she was there, put sugar in my mouth to sweeten my day and gave me a card from Father. Father called and wished me a happy birthday. Bi called and said how much I meant to her and to promise to have a great day. If wealth can be defined not in monetary terms but in the quality of relationship one has with one's loved ones, then I was a billionaire that morning. I explained my thanks to the Almighty for not just the sustenance but the above and beyond that he was blessed to me.

I drove off to school and as usual, today is going to be a long day. But it will be a special long one. I was happy. I played Zein Bhikka on the stereo. It was surreal.

 The first greeting of the day came from my DHS Globalisation Challenge students, who saw me in the morning  and wished me personally a happy birthday. I told them that the best gifts to me are not physical but the ones made up from effort and hard work. I told them that their gift to me will be presented on the 17th July, on  their competition date and whatever the result is, in my eyes they have won with their hard work and determination.

The next 3 hours was frantic but in true Kamal style a highly charged, photo-neutronic event, I am conducting a workshop. I dunno, but I always enjoyed delivering infront of a large crowd. I never feel afraid (of course I will if I am not well prepared) But with 6 weeks of preparation behind me, how can I mess up? I conducted a Skillful teacher workshop for 110 teachers along with my two senior teachers. It was perfect in execution. Initial feedback form teachers were positive. Later in the hour I has a lesson observation by my Principal along with VVIPs, VP and other teachers. That two was a highly charged moment. I wasn't doing anything impressive and 'above and beyond'. I told myself that the lesson would be me in action, RAW, Acoustic version. But it was fun showcasing what history teaching or social studies is about to people who are going to make important decisions for our country. Once that was over, I slumped in my seat. Took a deep breath and responded toa flurry of SMSes form my relatives and friends....Next up was going to 4/1

4/1 sang a birthday song to me as I walked into the class. After their singing I thanked them and told them the story of 14th July. I explained that 14th July also happens to be known as Bastille day. For on this day the French people in 1789 stormed the prison-fortress Bastille and bought an end to their cruel monarchy led by Louis XVI. I explained that this storming is not significant by itself but it unleash the power of the French people to bring an end to their absolute monarchy and establish the first modern nation states founded upon the principles of Liberty, Fraternity and Egalitaire. I tred to mention the French terms as best I could and added that the ideals were so powerful that it spawned not  only a social revolution in France but also  a political revolution in Europe itself. The French high on their newly found freedoms and committed to freeing the rest of Europe from their perceived yoke of tyranny of their monarchs and led by one of the greatest military general of all time Napoleon Bonaparte, conquered almost the entire Europe, sans Moscow and United Kingdom. I ended my saying that this day is special as it reminds us of the power of the people and how governments serve people and that if reforms were not made from above, one cab expect a revolution from below. Viva Le France.

What makes today a great day is 4/4 and what they did for me. Let me explain, when I started the year the class was new. They were in a despondent mood. A few I believed had given up on the subject. Many had issues with themselves and also me. Many were the introverted skeptical sort who would'nt participate. But today things changed. The worst of the Sec 4E's proved in my heart to be the best, more than I can imagined. Though I did not have a class with them, they told me to meet up with them in the canteen at 2pm. As busy as I was, I wanted to say NO, so along with my NIE trainee whom I was having a conversation we went down to the canteed. Firdaus took a picture and I knew a surprise is coming. True, there it was in the canteen a chocolate cake with smiling 4/4 students around it. I also got a green Vivezuela. I made a speech, Say thank you to all. But a point has to be made here; that is it takes a lot for a group of students to come around and buy and bring a cake to school, keep it somewhere for the entire day, surprise their teacher during their precious break and genuinely are happy doing it. It is for surprises like this that I had remained in teaching. I tried my best to speak to everyone and thanked every one who came. I was later presented with a  big birthday card. It had many Post-Its by many students on them. Below are samples of what they wrote (click on it and it will enlarge). I enjoyed the chocolate cake and told everyone that I sincerely wish and hope 

  that they will achieve spectacular results in the O Level results, have a good character and give back to society whatever they have been given. i told them, like t hem I was a version 16 of myself at that age. With many many birthdays and through learning from the many mistakes and being wiser as a result of the numerous feedback I received, I stand in front of them as a Version 38 of myself. I add a reminder that this is only a version, the best is yet to be. Amidst the eating, laughter, over a chocolate cake Rui Ting asked me a profound question "Mr K what is your dream?" I smiled. I told her "This is it!" She looked puzzled. I explained. "Rui Ting, you are not going to believe it if I tell you that I am one of those rare people in this world who are living their dream right now. I have a house (though not the biggest) an SUV (though not the best), a great family, a fantabulous working environment, great colleagues and Andersonians who often energize me when I need energizing and for them I spend most of my days, even more so than my family during term time. At the end of each day, as always I feel tired but contented of having touch lives, making an impact and imparting a little  bit of what I know to their collective wisdoms. I am lord of the classroom, king of the assembly hall, wise Jedi Master, the feared Assassin Creed and Flash all roll in one. I feel excited about every single day coming to school", I replied . Isn't that a dream for many others? For it is not money or fame that nourishes my soul but it is something else for me. William Blake says it best in the Auguries of Innocence, when he said;

"To see a world in a grain of sand, 
 And a heaven in a wild flower,
 Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
 And eternity in an hour"

Short of sounding like an MOE advertisement, today I felt that in the midst of my students sharing in their laughters and hope for the O levels a sense of serenity and tranquility in being able to freeze time and enjoy the moment. A moment forged in genuine sincerity and devotion. Once can never experience this unless one has touched lives, and touched it meaningfully. So my dream has been fulfilled. The challenge now is scale even a higher peak with regards to being a teacher, a father, a husband a son and a friend. I have to scan the terrain and pick out a new peak.

I am not sure if Rui Ting, believed in my answer, but I do know an intelligent individual like her, will one day find out exactly what I meant by those words. Back in my HOD room, two presents sat on my table. One was a gift and present from my neighbouring HOD. I read it and I read it twice. Indescribable. No colleague has ever written a card that makes me feel as validated as a friend and as a true professional that day. I got a cat in a box by another head. Rayn lots of fun using it as a piggy bank. My boss SMSed me from (I really dont know from where she was at that time) and said "Happy Birthday to a Skillful teacher". The best present came last, really late. It cam about a week after my birthday. For the very first time in my teaching career as a Head of Department, my teachers rallied and wrote me a card. They wrote from the heart and I felt jubilant. The card is below. I ended my day with dinner at home, prayers and checking my facebook. I almost passed out. 186 entries from present students, ex students, cousins, nephews, ex JC classmates, Army mates, ex Gan Eng Seng classmate, colleagues, friends from overseas, and many more...all wishing me a great  "Happy Birthday". 186!!! Wow that must be a facebook record for a teacher or anyone. To me it is. A thought, a concern shared, a word of thanks means so much and goes so far deep inside. It is the every fuel that ignites me to to do what I can for one and all.

Its been a blessed day, 14th July this day. Version 38 shutdowned at 11.15pm. Tired but happy and praise to Allah for his blessings, gifts and for surrounding me with niqmat of people who truly cares about me. I will try my best not to disappoint anyone for as long as I live. Insyaallah i will!

Picture on the left is me in action at Universal Studios. Faiz surprised me with a trip to Resorts World Sentosa as a birthday present. It was a fantabulous day. I enjoyed every single part of it. I got myself an Indiana Jones hat, wore my vacation shirt and with everyone onboard we had a great evening. Thanks Mama for a great gift!

Another pose here with the entire family. Behind is a circa 1960s US Police Car. The entire place gives a feel of Hollywood and glitzy Americana. I enjoyed it. Even with the battlestar galactica ride being down.

Farihah and Rizman joined us in the trip. It was fun for all. He helped me with the full family shots.  

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The Blind Side - What I shared with my students this week

I think the movie was essentially about the power of the family .We all know that one stick is strong, but when you have a bundle of sticks wound together, it is almost unbreakable. A family is where you heal your wounds, recharge, and laugh together. It is a place where the big is small and the small is big. What is interesting about the Blind Side was that Big Mike did not have a family that provided him with the above. He had a plastic bag with a T Shirt and laundromart to call home (because it's warm) and he shuffles from one couch to another. (The amazing thing about him is that he stays out of trouble throughout all his life). His adoptive family the Tuohy’s provided him with all that a family should. Besides the material aspect of things (a couch which later became a bed and a room, a driving license which later became a black pickup truck, a full time dedicated tutor and many more), they made him feel like a member of the family since Day 1. There is nothing about his size or colour of the skin that separates them apart. It was hilarious when Leigh Ann uncle called up and said ‘hey do you realise that there is a coloured kid in your family Christmas card?’.

I also liked the part when big Mike was on the bed listening to Leigh Ann read the story of Ferdinand the Bull to SJ, and Collins was by the door chuckling. Yes this is what a family does together. They connect. They connect with each other's heart all the time. It is through the heart that they become stronger than they are alone. Also in  family the big becomes small. Though Big Mike is still big lying on Leigh Ann Tuohy’s bed, he still lies down with SJ listening attentively to a ‘small child’s story’ on Ferdinand the Bull. This allowed Leigh Ann to connect. To bond, family must find time to connect with each other. They can't do this if they are rushing, lacking time or either parties find the activities too boring, too lame or too childish. (Sounds familiar). I have seen strong families connect with each other simply by discussing the events in a newspaper, having dinner and even while working out their differences. Such is the strength of a family that the pros outstrips the cons. Families celebrate every success that every member achieves. In the Blind Side, the entire family went out for dinner when Big Mike was about to play football. They also rally together when there is a problem. They help one another. SJ coached Big Mike in football. Sean the father told the coach that Big Mike never played a game when the coach was aghast at Big Mike’s inability to master American football. Even Collins, despite her friends' glares and consternations, sat with Big Mike in the library knowing that he would be alone. Yes that’s what rallying together means.

So the question to you is this- You can't change very much the dynamics of the family that you are in immediately. But I am sure you can influence members to appreciate each other, like Big Mike. However, more importantly, a family is an ideal I believe in. It can exist in many forms. Who is to say that you cannot have a ‘family’ in school. Look at the features and characteristics that families do to make each member strong like in the para above. Can you achieve them with your classmates? Teachers? I'd like to believe that I can be like Leigh Ann Tuohy (though I look real ugly in a skirt) . I am talkative, frankly, but more importantly, I will shake you till you wake up from your sleep, and shake you until you achieve your very best! (I also liked the part when at the ending Leigh Ann said ‘Michael if you get a girl to bear you children out of wedlock, I will drive over here and cut of your p**** ). Like Leigh Ann she loves Mike as much as her own children and spends as much time, money and effort with him. I also believe that if that you look around, you will see many more people like me. Mrs Poh, our VPs, your Form Teachers, your Mother Tongue teachers, the security guard uncle, your counselors, your subject teachers and many more people around you. Your friends are your siblings. If you count the number of hours you spend each day in school, you spend more time with your friends than with your own siblings. And remember when Big Mike scored 98 percent for protective instincts? He told Leigh Ann not to leave the car when they were in a bad neighbourhood. Families all over, real or imaginary, protect each other. They protect their weakest member. If you can never find it in yourself to protect someone else, you can never protect yourself or defend your values at all. It is wise to remember that all the time.

Also, as I have said the movie represents a certain standard of what a family should be. I have never had such a family when I was young. I knew from the very start what type of family I wanted to create. I looked out for a girl who was tough, independent and strong-willed. One who could take care of my family when I am not around. She was the girl that became my wife. In my family, like all others, I created the rules. No eating when watching TV. No legs on the car’s dashboard and many more. I wanted to create a family as was depicted in the Blind Side. A family where every member is strong and would lead inspiring lives on their own and one where my children can achieve more than I did. Being in teaching also allows me to create a second family, one that allows me to constantly come into contact with sixteen year olds, year in and year out. Through them I see the world in a whole different way. They recharge me and push me to give my very best and remind me that I am here to help them achieve what’s important to them in this leg of life’s journey. I take this mission with a sense of duty, privilege and humility. This is not about me.

I want to let you know that if you prepare yourself well from now into adulthood by developing your character, understanding your personal weaknesses, identifying and enhancing your strengths and acquiring good paper qualifications, living comfortably and appreciating every act of kindness that has been given to you and reciprocating them, you will ultimately, in the long term, develop into fine men and women of tomorrow. You can create good self-sustaining, nourishing  families that are even better that the one portrayed in the Blind Side. Even better than mine! The best part of the Blind Side was when Leigh Ann was in the company of her friends in the club and she was told after she ticked off her friends, ‘Leigh Ann you are making a big difference in the life of that boy’ What did Leigh Ann say in return? ‘No he is making a difference in mine’. It is a profound line that is difficult to explain. Strangely, it summarized the entire show. I only truly understood its meaning when I reached 36 years old!

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The second theme about the Blind Side that made me reflect a lot is the power of attitude. Yes you have heard me saying that often repeated cliché ‘your attitude determines your altitude’. Positive attitude attracts and influences others positively. Big Mike was never angry, he never shouted, even to his enemies. ‘I had to send him home..to the bus’ he told his coach. When life makes it hard for him, he simply closes his eyes, forgets about it, forgives others and moves on. There isn’t a shadow of emotional baggage that he carries with him. He accepted his hardships, his drug addicted mother, his many siblings, his lack of a proper education in his early years, and the dismissive teachers he faced at his new school simply did not make him angry or make him sympathise with himself. Yes he did something about it. He wrote. (Remember White Walls? He wrote: "Everywhere I see white….") He tries to make the best of everything he has and never complains. Ever wondered why he wanted the bumble bee Rugby Tee Shirts? (Ask me later I will explain!). Attitude is so powerful and if you display positive attitude it does two things. It strengthens you and primes you up for the challenges that you are to face. Secondly it attracts people to you. Because he never asked for anything, he was given. Yes the small things add up. He keeps his bed neatly, folds the sheets, sits at the table when the family watches Football during Thanksgiving. He never asked for a bed or anything in the beginning. The only time he asked for something was when he wanted a driving license. Why? (Ask me later!). His attitude led to a sense of confidence that made him strong. Because he was never rude, cynical, demanding, it made others attracted to his plight and to help him. His reluctant teachers in school became his biggest supporter by the middle of the show. His ‘most hated’ teacher (the one who couldn’t give him a B but only a D+ C minus) simply couldn’t believed his eyes when he wrote his literature paper on Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem on ‘The Charge of the Light Brigade’. His coach, and almost everyone else in his family and his tutor was more committed to help him because he was not a a demanding person. Often he doesn’t talk too much, he does things and shows his sincerity and effort. This makes others see him in a positive light.

Your attitude is something that you can control. Many parts of you like your face, your height, your physicality, who your family members at home are, are something you cannot control.

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But you DO HAVE control over how you display your attitude. You can mope around at home , write in your facebook wall about how sad or depressed you are, what things you want to buy, have purchased, food you have eaten and what naught, it affects your attitude and the attitude that others have towards you. The right attitude can nourish your soul and strengthen your character. Big Mike is so well developed in his character that he is strong enough to resist his gang members / family. He did not join them. He also goes back to his real mama, to protect her when she needs him. He is strong enough to accept the stares, the negative feedback, and all the nasty comments about him. But the opposite is also true. He is strong enough not to let all the compliments get into his head! He is humble, remains so, despite so many offers to play football from the university.He lets SJ negotiate on his behalf with all the top coaches (I like that part too! When all is done, he hugs his mama. And in true Big Mike way, he does it with a few words but with a lot of sincerity and genuineness. This is what all young people should aspire too.

I leave you with those two thoughts for the week. I wish you all the very best as you prepare for your Prelims and the O’s and more importantly the journey of life. Its not over until it is really over. And this journey is going to be a long one. It makes sense to have a family to go through this with you. Cheering and supporting you throughout. The only way that’s going to happen is when you demonstrate the right attitude. And it starts now.  

Yours Sincerely,

Mr Kamaludin B,
Your biggest supporter.
June 2010

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No. 7 and boy was she proud!!

I remembered how excited she was when she brought home her hockey jersey home. She is going to play a match against opponents from school. I promised I will be there for the match. 

She told me that she plays the role of a midfielder. I haven't seen her in action on the pitch when she is in Pr 4, but I reckon she has improved tremendously. She trains thrice a week. She has a golden honey tanned and Faiz says her biceps are sculpted and firm now.

She is confident and takes the upcoming game in her stride. What the smile is about I guess, is her first real opportunity to wear her school name behind her back and do her school proud.

I reminded her that the number is special. In football it is meant for great players. Not quite sure if hockey has the same tradition. But one thing for sure, she is no easy walkover on the field.This is one tough cookie, just like her mommy so strikers from the opposing team, you just want to watch out for no. 7 from Radin Mas Primary. Go Dada!

Mornings in 2010

On almost all working mornings I will leave my house at about 6:42am. Rayn will be tucked in to his baby seat. To get to school i will pass this Pasir Panjang Expressway. Today a beautiful sunrise was on the horizon. In a crazy way, I took out my E71 and snapped God's gift to mankind while hurtling down at 90 km/h. The music? Cat Steven -Peacetrain. My hair stood at ends and I just enjoy the view. Syukur Alhamdulillah for living and seeing this

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Real Funny!

Watch my princess on her suave board

Yes the holidays are here. I love the feeling when I can bring all to West Coast Park. here dada is showing off her newfound skills in balancing on her suaveboard. I took this pic cos she did not realise that her suaveboard has lights that glow. So here it is. (Boy she is growing up so fast!!)