I think the movie was essentially about the power of the family .We all know that one stick is strong, but when you have a bundle of sticks wound together, it is almost unbreakable. A family is where you heal your wounds, recharge, and laugh together. It is a place where the big is small and the small is big. What is interesting about the Blind Side was that Big Mike did not have a family that provided him with the above. He had a plastic bag with a T Shirt and laundromart to call home (because it's warm) and he shuffles from one couch to another. (The amazing thing about him is that he stays out of trouble throughout all his life). His adoptive family the Tuohy’s provided him with all that a family should. Besides the material aspect of things (a couch which later became a bed and a room, a driving license which later became a black pickup truck, a full time dedicated tutor and many more), they made him feel like a member of the family since Day 1. There is nothing about his size or colour of the skin that separates them apart. It was hilarious when Leigh Ann uncle called up and said ‘hey do you realise that there is a coloured kid in your family Christmas card?’.
I also liked the part when big Mike was on the bed listening to Leigh Ann read the story of Ferdinand the Bull to SJ, and Collins was by the door chuckling. Yes this is what a family does together. They connect. They connect with each other's heart all the time. It is through the heart that they become stronger than they are alone. Also in family the big becomes small. Though Big Mike is still big lying on Leigh Ann Tuohy’s bed, he still lies down with SJ listening attentively to a ‘small child’s story’ on Ferdinand the Bull. This allowed Leigh Ann to connect. To bond, family must find time to connect with each other. They can't do this if they are rushing, lacking time or either parties find the activities too boring, too lame or too childish. (Sounds familiar). I have seen strong families connect with each other simply by discussing the events in a newspaper, having dinner and even while working out their differences. Such is the strength of a family that the pros outstrips the cons. Families celebrate every success that every member achieves. In the Blind Side, the entire family went out for dinner when Big Mike was about to play football. They also rally together when there is a problem. They help one another. SJ coached Big Mike in football. Sean the father told the coach that Big Mike never played a game when the coach was aghast at Big Mike’s inability to master American football. Even Collins, despite her friends' glares and consternations, sat with Big Mike in the library knowing that he would be alone. Yes that’s what rallying together means.
So the question to you is this- You can't change very much the dynamics of the family that you are in immediately. But I am sure you can influence members to appreciate each other, like Big Mike. However, more importantly, a family is an ideal I believe in. It can exist in many forms. Who is to say that you cannot have a ‘family’ in school. Look at the features and characteristics that families do to make each member strong like in the para above. Can you achieve them with your classmates? Teachers? I'd like to believe that I can be like Leigh Ann Tuohy (though I look real ugly in a skirt) . I am talkative, frankly, but more importantly, I will shake you till you wake up from your sleep, and shake you until you achieve your very best! (I also liked the part when at the ending Leigh Ann said ‘Michael if you get a girl to bear you children out of wedlock, I will drive over here and cut of your p**** ). Like Leigh Ann she loves Mike as much as her own children and spends as much time, money and effort with him. I also believe that if that you look around, you will see many more people like me. Mrs Poh, our VPs, your Form Teachers, your Mother Tongue teachers, the security guard uncle, your counselors, your subject teachers and many more people around you. Your friends are your siblings. If you count the number of hours you spend each day in school, you spend more time with your friends than with your own siblings. And remember when Big Mike scored 98 percent for protective instincts? He told Leigh Ann not to leave the car when they were in a bad neighbourhood. Families all over, real or imaginary, protect each other. They protect their weakest member. If you can never find it in yourself to protect someone else, you can never protect yourself or defend your values at all. It is wise to remember that all the time.
Also, as I have said the movie represents a certain standard of what a family should be. I have never had such a family when I was young. I knew from the very start what type of family I wanted to create. I looked out for a girl who was tough, independent and strong-willed. One who could take care of my family when I am not around. She was the girl that became my wife. In my family, like all others, I created the rules. No eating when watching TV. No legs on the car’s dashboard and many more. I wanted to create a family as was depicted in the Blind Side. A family where every member is strong and would lead inspiring lives on their own and one where my children can achieve more than I did. Being in teaching also allows me to create a second family, one that allows me to constantly come into contact with sixteen year olds, year in and year out. Through them I see the world in a whole different way. They recharge me and push me to give my very best and remind me that I am here to help them achieve what’s important to them in this leg of life’s journey. I take this mission with a sense of duty, privilege and humility. This is not about me.
I want to let you know that if you prepare yourself well from now into adulthood by developing your character, understanding your personal weaknesses, identifying and enhancing your strengths and acquiring good paper qualifications, living comfortably and appreciating every act of kindness that has been given to you and reciprocating them, you will ultimately, in the long term, develop into fine men and women of tomorrow. You can create good self-sustaining, nourishing families that are even better that the one portrayed in the Blind Side. Even better than mine! The best part of the Blind Side was when Leigh Ann was in the company of her friends in the club and she was told after she ticked off her friends, ‘Leigh Ann you are making a big difference in the life of that boy’ What did Leigh Ann say in return? ‘No he is making a difference in mine’. It is a profound line that is difficult to explain. Strangely, it summarized the entire show. I only truly understood its meaning when I reached 36 years old!
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The second theme about the Blind Side that made me reflect a lot is the power of attitude. Yes you have heard me saying that often repeated cliché ‘your attitude determines your altitude’. Positive attitude attracts and influences others positively. Big Mike was never angry, he never shouted, even to his enemies. ‘I had to send him home..to the bus’ he told his coach. When life makes it hard for him, he simply closes his eyes, forgets about it, forgives others and moves on. There isn’t a shadow of emotional baggage that he carries with him. He accepted his hardships, his drug addicted mother, his many siblings, his lack of a proper education in his early years, and the dismissive teachers he faced at his new school simply did not make him angry or make him sympathise with himself. Yes he did something about it. He wrote. (Remember White Walls? He wrote: "Everywhere I see white….") He tries to make the best of everything he has and never complains. Ever wondered why he wanted the bumble bee Rugby Tee Shirts? (Ask me later I will explain!). Attitude is so powerful and if you display positive attitude it does two things. It strengthens you and primes you up for the challenges that you are to face. Secondly it attracts people to you. Because he never asked for anything, he was given. Yes the small things add up. He keeps his bed neatly, folds the sheets, sits at the table when the family watches Football during Thanksgiving. He never asked for a bed or anything in the beginning. The only time he asked for something was when he wanted a driving license. Why? (Ask me later!). His attitude led to a sense of confidence that made him strong. Because he was never rude, cynical, demanding, it made others attracted to his plight and to help him. His reluctant teachers in school became his biggest supporter by the middle of the show. His ‘most hated’ teacher (the one who couldn’t give him a B but only a D+ C minus) simply couldn’t believed his eyes when he wrote his literature paper on Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem on ‘The Charge of the Light Brigade’. His coach, and almost everyone else in his family and his tutor was more committed to help him because he was not a a demanding person. Often he doesn’t talk too much, he does things and shows his sincerity and effort. This makes others see him in a positive light.
Your attitude is something that you can control. Many parts of you like your face, your height, your physicality, who your family members at home are, are something you cannot control.
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But you DO HAVE control over how you display your attitude. You can mope around at home , write in your facebook wall about how sad or depressed you are, what things you want to buy, have purchased, food you have eaten and what naught, it affects your attitude and the attitude that others have towards you. The right attitude can nourish your soul and strengthen your character. Big Mike is so well developed in his character that he is strong enough to resist his gang members / family. He did not join them. He also goes back to his real mama, to protect her when she needs him. He is strong enough to accept the stares, the negative feedback, and all the nasty comments about him. But the opposite is also true. He is strong enough not to let all the compliments get into his head! He is humble, remains so, despite so many offers to play football from the university.He lets SJ negotiate on his behalf with all the top coaches (I like that part too! When all is done, he hugs his mama. And in true Big Mike way, he does it with a few words but with a lot of sincerity and genuineness. This is what all young people should aspire too.
I leave you with those two thoughts for the week. I wish you all the very best as you prepare for your Prelims and the O’s and more importantly the journey of life. Its not over until it is really over. And this journey is going to be a long one. It makes sense to have a family to go through this with you. Cheering and supporting you throughout. The only way that’s going to happen is when you demonstrate the right attitude. And it starts now.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr Kamaludin B,
Your biggest supporter.
June 2010
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