Its funny that when the day comes you did not expect to be sad but to be celebrating. Who would want to chiong up a hill, dig trenches and eat army food? Not to even say take communal showers and trying to sleep in the midst of the loud snorings? Alas, its true, I do feel a sort of emptyness this morming as I contemplate going for my MR parade and meeting my 648 buddies for perhaps the very last time.
A couple of reasons could explain why i feel sad.
1) My annual ICT has always been a life saver to me as it always comes in late August, September and October. It saves me from the manic pace of school life at the time when I feel that I could no longer take on the punishing routine of work. It also rescued me from the many tiring burdens of parenting. Army life is blissful, tranquil and is an exercise in deep resting for the mind and soul. I gave no orders but carried out some that I relished and easily executed. Army workdays are simple with all the activities planned at intervals and meals that I feel were well cooked. You can get through an army day without any change in your pockets. Seldom was I sick or down even in the face of the worse trainings. I have looked forward to all the activities, uptime and downtime with a sense of anticipation and at the point of execution, I dare say that I could leave the world behind me and fully engage myself into what needs to be done. This is a rarity on normal days.
2)My buds
Let me explain, army buddies are buddies for life. They take care of you in and out field. I have met the most amazing group of guys whom I bore witness as they take critical leaps in their personal lifelines into marriage and being parents. I saw the faces of their wives and their children as they grew up from boys to men. The conversations that we had, and... there were too many to recount. Conversations in a trench, in the bunk, in the rifle range, in the medical centre, in the training shed, in the armskote room, in the store and in the toilets.. just too many.
Reyaz, Bandi, Aziz, Juman, Eduar, Khai, Bandi, Nurazmin, Ghazali, Kelly, Nigel, LTA Chan, MO, Jimmy, Hafez, Syamsul, Shahrin, Joshua Chiang, Yeah, Chua, Barnabas, late Daniel Chan aka Sniper, Quek and others. Through their friendship and company they made me feel at home and belonged.
2) Being thankful,
In an ironic way, army life makes me feel thankful of what i have, possessions I own and Faiz and my kids. Through the words of my buds I get a glimpse of the world that they live in and for this I realise how fortunate I am. Army life is a reality checker of sorts. It brings you up and crashes you down in the face of reality and forces you to probe deeper into your soul for who you are and what is worth pursuing. These are things that can be easily forgotten as we trudge the days and weeks in our porfessional lives
I will miss everyone for all the memories and experience. My life has been richer because of this. Thanks guys!
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