I started the week reading Surah Al Baqarah from ayat 165 onwards. This morning ayat 171 and 172 stuck to me light a bolt. Interestingly there are parallels about what was to happen later in the day with this ayat. Did I tell you that today 14th July 2010, I turned 38?
(2:171) And so the parable of those who are bent on denying the truth is that of the beast, which, which has the shepherd's cry and hears in it nothing but the sound of a voice and a call. Deaf are they and dumb and blind, for they do not use their reason.
(2:172) O you who have attained to faith. Partake of the good things which we have provided for you as sustenance, and render thanks unto God, if it is [truly] Him that you worshipDid I say that before subuh, I managed to do my early morning run around NUS? pass biz ad, Arts Fac, towards Engine Bridge, downslope towards Fong Seng and turned into Seven Eleven into the road where I live. Timing was 19 minutes plus (not my best but managed to work some sweat though). Later I did some flexibility exercises after the run with my elastic tension rope. Once over with my standard leg raises and push-ups, I was drenching with sweat. This is the reason why I wake up at 4 am and run. To have sweat oozing but the cool morning wind and silence blowing on me, to feel really hungry and with all my muscles taut and warm blood surging in term. I can feel the endorphines and adrenaline surging in me. No words to describe the satisfaction of being able to push your own personal limits and boundaries. It simply feels awesome. Makes me feel I can take on any challenge, any problems head-on. By 4:59am I had showered and sat on my prayer rug reading 2:163-176, with the proper enuciation of the Arabic makhraj and tarnum. (rhythm)
Lines 171-172 were significant to me that day, for "Allah has allowed me to Partake of the good things which he has provided for as sustenance." This is important for it is he who as not only given me sustenance but so much more. I received and is receiving the grace of our Lord everyday, but this morning I made time stand still and reflect of the many blessings that I have received for the past 38 years. The first in of course. I am alive. I had lived past 37.
I had once read in a Los Angeles based online newspaper report the other day and was struck with one webpage that displays photos of US serviceman and servicewomen who perished in the service of their nation in operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. These servicemen, about 540 plus of them hailed from parts of Los Angeles. What struck to me most are youth and their age. Almost all are below 25. Young and in their prime. Their photos, not accompanied by any text shows an image of a proud soldier doing his or her duty for the defense of their country and paying the ultimate sacrifice for that belief - their life. The testimonials and message left behind by their loved ones were especially poignant. They spoke of not how they died, they spoke not in voices of anger, but they spoke of the many wonderful things the fallen had done that had special meaning to them, not of heroics but of mundane stuff, and also through their words they made it clear what the loss of their husband, son, daughter and friend had meant to them. This resonated deeply in me for if I die, and I will one day. I would want people to know me truly for the values that I have set for myself, and how I had succeeded in achieving them and and also how hard I tried in achieving some goals that I had fallen short of achieving and how they can take the lessons in the many mistakes that I had made, to be better than me. For this to happen I need a certain amount of time to achieve them and blessed with being 38, means I had more time to make a difference in the lives of others. I thank Allah for giving me health, energy, wisdom, people whom I loved, people who love me, spiritual awareness of how small I am relative to the vastness of space and time, a desire to improve myself in understanding God's final revelation - the Quran, to be given an opportunity to be a 'Khalifah' (steward) in this journey of life and demonstrate that a true Muslim loves, cherishes and gives back as much as he has been given unto. شكر الحمد لله.
In the same breath, I thanked God Al - Mighty, for making me a Singaporean, and for having tossed me here in this part of the world, instead of Hebron, Gaza, Bukina Faso or even Paris..(no offense to those great cities!) . But I thank my lucky stars that my grandparents eloped from India and set sail here about 150 years ago and this made it posible for me to benefit from the best of what Singapore has to offer. It allows me to firstly have an education that not only rewards achievement but strengthens mind and character in such a way that I dont get lost when I am in Seoul, Massachusetts, or even Jakarta. Malcolm Gladwell, complimented Singaporeans by saying that we are one of the world's best in 'dealing with unpredictability' and looking backwards in my life, I can see why we become such a people. This is the gift of Singapore for SIngaporeans. Being in SIngapore, born to parents who places a premium in education, me and Bi got the best of the madrasah and secular education system. I teach. Bi practices medicine. Only in Singapore and few other places in the world such an event could and had happened. I thanked my lucky stars that morning to have met Faiz, started a family, bought a fine house, have good neighbours and having been allowed to serve in the defence of our nation. Of all my prized possessions, a picture of me in my passing out parade in SAF No.4 deserves special mention.I am what I am today and specifically that being I ca relate to Singapore from all walks of life because of my National Service experience. I am proud to say that I served in a combat vocation. And for who for having served in an infantry battalion in the SAF, for having 'chiong' ed' up and down Peng Kang, Bajau,E-shaped knoll, Tekong, Botak and Elephant Hill and knowing the difference between the sound made by a 5.56mm and 7.62mm rifle and having been given the experience close up to see men of action coming together to serve their country gives me a powerful sense of centered-ness. Despite the cacophony of colour and creed only one colour stood out; camouflaged green. And if you look closely, those tiny pixels in my 1991 ITD Pass Out Parade with Foxtrot Company,taken in Infantry Training Depot, Pulau Tekong a dark skinned short haired skinny soldier with the name PTE Kamaludin Bahadin stands out. That was me, when I was 18. Today I have doubled in age, but never have felt a year older. If ever, Singapore has given me what it possibly could and this allowed to be to give back to those who matters to me, in ways that I can. A big part of that comes from being able to teach Singapore's future - the young people of this country.
The second point that makes me proud to be a SIngaporean, is that I am a Muslim. Singapore protects our way of life and ensures that our women and daughters can wear their veils with heads held high. Lots of advertisement billboard in the Civil Service of women wearing head-dress, reaffirms my belief in that we can be both excellent Muslims and patriotic Singaporeans and the two are not in conflict with each other. In fact I can be the best Muslim that I want and not worry about public perception or official biases. Part of this remains that Singapore Muslims though a minority are a shining example as compared to many parts of the world where Muslims are the majority. Ironically in those areas where the government is run by fellow Muslims, they often fall short of meeting the expectations of their citizens of fellow Muslims. Singaporean Muslims are excellent in many aspects and I believe like the generation before us we exemplify the best of our prophet's teachings (pbuh). For we believe strongly in the teaching of Al Sunnah Wal Jammaah, who are tolerant of people of different faiths and who treats their neighbours with dignity and respect even if they share a different religion, who allows their women to be educated and are rationale and progressive in outlook. The sense of Ummah of being a Singapore Muslim has never been stronger. The minarets of our;beautiful mosques piercing the sky and adorning our island as compared to the sad state of mosques that I saw in Paris,and the mood of Islam-ophobia rising in Europe makes me feel blessed to be here. Here I can prepare myself and my family dunia (present world) and akhirah (the next world) to the best of my ability. For this I am really thankful.
I received three beautiful cards this morning from Dada, Nana and Rayn. Rayn's card was once written by Dada but is still significant. His wobbly, crooked, jerky way of writing alphabets suggests an image in my mind of his sister holding his small hand and writing out the words with him on paper was making me smile. Dada's card was extremely meaningful for she spoke from her heart with deep affection of what my presence had meant to her. Nana's card was an anagram that had computer QWERTY's keypad with some letters shaded, which with the help of Glenn Sim, I managed to decipher what it means. It says I love you from an iPhone keypad. Mother called me and said a prayer to me. When I sent Rayn she was there, put sugar in my mouth to sweeten my day and gave me a card from Father. Father called and wished me a happy birthday. Bi called and said how much I meant to her and to promise to have a great day. If wealth can be defined not in monetary terms but in the quality of relationship one has with one's loved ones, then I was a billionaire that morning. I explained my thanks to the Almighty for not just the sustenance but the above and beyond that he was blessed to me.
I drove off to school and as usual, today is going to be a long day. But it will be a special long one. I was happy. I played Zein Bhikka on the stereo. It was surreal.
The first greeting of the day came from my DHS Globalisation Challenge students, who saw me in the morning and wished me personally a happy birthday. I told them that the best gifts to me are not physical but the ones made up from effort and hard work. I told them that their gift to me will be presented on the 17th July, on their competition date and whatever the result is, in my eyes they have won with their hard work and determination.
The next 3 hours was frantic but in true Kamal style a highly charged, photo-neutronic event, I am conducting a workshop. I dunno, but I always enjoyed delivering infront of a large crowd. I never feel afraid (of course I will if I am not well prepared) But with 6 weeks of preparation behind me, how can I mess up? I conducted a Skillful teacher workshop for 110 teachers along with my two senior teachers. It was perfect in execution. Initial feedback form teachers were positive. Later in the hour I has a lesson observation by my Principal along with VVIPs, VP and other teachers. That two was a highly charged moment. I wasn't doing anything impressive and 'above and beyond'. I told myself that the lesson would be me in action, RAW, Acoustic version. But it was fun showcasing what history teaching or social studies is about to people who are going to make important decisions for our country. Once that was over, I slumped in my seat. Took a deep breath and responded toa flurry of SMSes form my relatives and friends....Next up was going to 4/1
4/1 sang a birthday song to me as I walked into the class. After their singing I thanked them and told them the story of 14th July. I explained that 14th July also happens to be known as Bastille day. For on this day the French people in 1789 stormed the prison-fortress Bastille and bought an end to their cruel monarchy led by Louis XVI. I explained that this storming is not significant by itself but it unleash the power of the French people to bring an end to their absolute monarchy and establish the first modern nation states founded upon the principles of Liberty, Fraternity and Egalitaire. I tred to mention the French terms as best I could and added that the ideals were so powerful that it spawned not only a social revolution in France but also a political revolution in Europe itself. The French high on their newly found freedoms and committed to freeing the rest of Europe from their perceived yoke of tyranny of their monarchs and led by one of the greatest military general of all time Napoleon Bonaparte, conquered almost the entire Europe, sans Moscow and United Kingdom. I ended my saying that this day is special as it reminds us of the power of the people and how governments serve people and that if reforms were not made from above, one cab expect a revolution from below. Viva Le France.
What makes today a great day is 4/4 and what they did for me. Let me explain, when I started the year the class was new. They were in a despondent mood. A few I believed had given up on the subject. Many had issues with themselves and also me. Many were the introverted skeptical sort who would'nt participate. But today things changed. The worst of the Sec 4E's proved in my heart to be the best, more than I can imagined. Though I did not have a class with them, they told me to meet up with them in the canteen at 2pm. As busy as I was, I wanted to say NO, so along with my NIE trainee whom I was having a conversation we went down to the canteed. Firdaus took a picture and I knew a surprise is coming. True, there it was in the canteen a chocolate cake with smiling 4/4 students around it. I also got a green Vivezuela. I made a speech, Say thank you to all. But a point has to be made here; that is it takes a lot for a group of students to come around and buy and bring a cake to school, keep it somewhere for the entire day, surprise their teacher during their precious break and genuinely are happy doing it. It is for surprises like this that I had remained in teaching. I tried my best to speak to everyone and thanked every one who came. I was later presented with a big birthday card. It had many Post-Its by many students on them. Below are samples of what they wrote (click on it and it will enlarge). I enjoyed the chocolate cake and told everyone that I sincerely wish and hope
that they will achieve spectacular results in the O Level results, have a good character and give back to society whatever they have been given. i told them, like t hem I was a version 16 of myself at that age. With many many birthdays and through learning from the many mistakes and being wiser as a result of the numerous feedback I received, I stand in front of them as a Version 38 of myself. I add a reminder that this is only a version, the best is yet to be. Amidst the eating, laughter, over a chocolate cake Rui Ting asked me a profound question "Mr K what is your dream?" I smiled. I told her "This is it!" She looked puzzled. I explained. "Rui Ting, you are not going to believe it if I tell you that I am one of those rare people in this world who are living their dream right now. I have a house (though not the biggest) an SUV (though not the best), a great family, a fantabulous working environment, great colleagues and Andersonians who often energize me when I need energizing and for them I spend most of my days, even more so than my family during term time. At the end of each day, as always I feel tired but contented of having touch lives, making an impact and imparting a little bit of what I know to their collective wisdoms. I am lord of the classroom, king of the assembly hall, wise Jedi Master, the feared Assassin Creed and Flash all roll in one. I feel excited about every single day coming to school", I replied . Isn't that a dream for many others? For it is not money or fame that nourishes my soul but it is something else for me. William Blake says it best in the Auguries of Innocence, when he said;
"To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour"
Short of sounding like an MOE advertisement, today I felt that in the midst of my students sharing in their laughters and hope for the O levels a sense of serenity and tranquility in being able to freeze time and enjoy the moment. A moment forged in genuine sincerity and devotion. Once can never experience this unless one has touched lives, and touched it meaningfully. So my dream has been fulfilled. The challenge now is scale even a higher peak with regards to being a teacher, a father, a husband a son and a friend. I have to scan the terrain and pick out a new peak.
I am not sure if Rui Ting, believed in my answer, but I do know an intelligent individual like her, will one day find out exactly what I meant by those words. Back in my HOD room, two presents sat on my table. One was a gift and present from my neighbouring HOD. I read it and I read it twice. Indescribable. No colleague has ever written a card that makes me feel as validated as a friend and as a true professional that day. I got a cat in a box by another head. Rayn lots of fun using it as a piggy bank. My boss SMSed me from (I really dont know from where she was at that time) and said "Happy Birthday to a Skillful teacher". The best present came last, really late. It cam about a week after my birthday. For the very first time in my teaching career as a Head of Department, my teachers rallied and wrote me a card. They wrote from the heart and I felt jubilant. The card is below. I ended my day with dinner at home, prayers and checking my facebook. I almost passed out. 186 entries from present students, ex students, cousins, nephews, ex JC classmates, Army mates, ex Gan Eng Seng classmate, colleagues, friends from overseas, and many more...all wishing me a great "Happy Birthday". 186!!! Wow that must be a facebook record for a teacher or anyone. To me it is. A thought, a concern shared, a word of thanks means so much and goes so far deep inside. It is the every fuel that ignites me to to do what I can for one and all.
Its been a blessed day, 14th July this day. Version 38 shutdowned at 11.15pm. Tired but happy and praise to Allah for his blessings, gifts and for surrounding me with niqmat of people who truly cares about me. I will try my best not to disappoint anyone for as long as I live. Insyaallah i will!
Picture on the left is me in action at Universal Studios. Faiz surprised me with a trip to Resorts World Sentosa as a birthday present. It was a fantabulous day. I enjoyed every single part of it. I got myself an Indiana Jones hat, wore my vacation shirt and with everyone onboard we had a great evening. Thanks Mama for a great gift!
Another pose here with the entire family. Behind is a circa 1960s US Police Car. The entire place gives a feel of Hollywood and glitzy Americana. I enjoyed it. Even with the battlestar galactica ride being down.
Farihah and Rizman joined us in the trip. It was fun for all. He helped me with the full family shots.
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